It’s simple. I’m pushing peace. The journey it took to get here is way more than I can type. However, I’ll keep it as brief as possible (It’s still long af, okay?). I do want you to stay around, so I’ll spare you (lol).
The below photo is a personal favorite of myself. It’s not the look of the photo itself, but that I can vivdly remember how I felt on this occasion. It was a gorgeous time of year and the second day in Miami Florida for a girl’s trip. Part of our weekend itinerary was to have a day on a yacht we’d rented. It was a beautiful day filled with ratchet music, twerking, jet skiing and heavy sun. All while being surrounded with nothing but luxury and inspiration. I recently printed and framed this and it sits in a common area in my place. I look at it often as a reminder.
and I’m in it
In This Article
- 1 and I’m in it
- 2 What peace means to me
- 3 Once upon time
- 4 The meltdown
- 5 Oh look, a breakthrough
- 6 What happened next girl!?
- 7 That’s that
- 8 Keepn’ the peace
- 9 Get Quiet
- 10 Talk to the right people
- 11 I became a plant mama
- 12 Set an ambience in the house for the evening
- 13 Look for a silver lining in any situation
- 14 Cut off people and situations that irritate me
- 15 Spend time with the people I love
- 16 Looking for peace? Here’s a starter pack
Fun fact. I have a friend I always Facetime and talk shit to when i’m traveling (what up Zach). In the event he answers he can be assured i’m somewhere in the world doing something dope. One time I was at an Erykah Badu Concert, another in a wild Sneaker store nestled in Downtown Detroit. You just never know with me. This time it was 10:00am and the above picture was my setting, laughing wearing Gucci shades and showing off the turquoise water lined with white waves. Wow. For me to be at that point was just wow… I was at Peace.
Again, i’m not going to bore you with all my woes and worries it took to get to that/this point. We would literally need a mini series. Just know, that day in September was a day of not only gratefulness but of serious reflection. Here’s a large portion of my life summed up…
What peace means to me
The best way for you to get to know me is to know what I’m really about. Peace plays a major role in my life, how I operate, and what got me to the point of creating this blog all together. I speak of peace often, and I don’t allow anything or anyone disturb it. Not for too long anyway. I slip up from time to time, peace is a marathon I’m still trekking.
But for real. If you talked to me everyday this word comes from my mouth daily. It’s necessary to me in the equivalency of air I take in. Yeah, it’s that deep. One thing I know is that I’ve got to feel good everyday to function. For me, feeling good starts with peace. Peace of mind, peace within my surroundings, peace with my actions and thought.
Once upon time
There was a time in life when things weren’t so great. I didn’t feel good and let me tell you baby, life got real. (Whew Chile). It was to the point I had a new baby, was running a new business that was foreign to me (after my “dream” Love Doll Shoppe didn’t work out as planned), in an abusive relationship, and was broke AF. It was… a lot.
During that time, I begged for it. It was to the point I would cry listening to Lauryn Hill’s “I gotta find peace of mind”. I needed peace, bad.
Fast forward, I felt the need to hire a life coach. I did, and my crazy tail self thought it was a therapy session; immediately started crying over the phone. Spewing my problems to this poor woman like we had known each other for years. She was marvelous by the way.
Emotionally concluding my rant with “I just want PEACE!!!!”. She allowed me to finish and calmly responded. Well, Ashley, what does “peace” mean to you? I was s-t-u-c-k. I literally paused and scratched my head. “Well, … I’m not sure”. Needless to say this led to my first homework assignment.
Oh look, a breakthrough
Once I figured out what “peace” meant to me, I began to eliminate things and people who didn’t cultivate it. I even had to tell friends and family “hey baby, I don’t want to hear about no one else’s business” or “I don’t want to talk about anything negative”… ooooh wee, folks were mad at me. You hear me!? I was “acting funny”, or was “bi-polar”. Nah, I’m was just serious about what I needed to achieve my goal. I was fighting for my life *insert R-Kelly Voice and antics*. For a minute finding peace was a lonely and confusing road. Why? because I had to face myself. Literally. Turned out, all the peace I needed was already inside of me. I just had to nurture it.
What happened next girl!?
One day I just come to peace with finding peace and that’s when the magic happened. It literally became a snowball effect. Next thing you know I was happily cutting people off, telling bad customers to kick rocks and getting better ones, became comfortable with firing people who didn’t fit business needs, I even let go of my relationship. The more I eliminated things that didn’t serve me, blessings just starting flowing like milk and honey. Business was booming (even during the top of the Pandemic), goals were being met. For the first time in a long time, I felt whole. I was…happy. My version of peace was falling into place.
Here’s a simple equation Peace = Happiness
Peace eventually became second nature instead of just being a desire. I recently moved and found my notebook I would jot in during my life coaching sessions, and I kid you not it brought tears to my eyes. Everything i’d written down in regards to personal peace had come into fruition.
I try my best to live everyday in peace no matter what is going on around me. Of course I have “off days”, I will still cuss someone out, and I am a bit impatient still. Through it all the main goal is to return to my safe haven of peace as soon as possible. I find peace in knowing this journey is also a work in progress. When I’m at peace I can make better decisions and I open myself to receiving from God or as I often refer, The Universe.
The more I find peace, the less i’m willing to tolerate in regards to things and people who take away from it. Relationships have changed, things I watch, read, and listen to have dramatically shifted, and I only do things that fit into my aura. All of it is in the name of peace.
Keepn’ the peace
Just like making money, peace is one thing to get. However maintaining it is key. Here are a few things that contribute to me keeping mine.
Get quiet sometimes I just need a minute with myself. I turn off the phone, music, tv.. whatever. I take a deep breathe and simply get quiet. Sometimes I meditate. It depends on my setting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve pulled into the garage, turned the car off, and just sat there. (Don’t act like you’ve never done it lol) Seriously, turning off the world immediately shifts my thoughts to serenity.
Talk to the right people
I have a very limited list of people whom I speak to at some point during the day daily. These friends are always upbeat, god-fearing, peaceful, and motivating. Being in these take/give relationships makes life easier. Before you know it you will only talk to these type of people. I’m not afraid to meet new people who are on the same frequency.
I became a plant mama
I could never grow or care for plants and now I find it extremely gratifying to name and love on my green babies. They are thriving too *blushes*
Work out – Believe it or not the gym can be a gem. For me it’s a huge stress reliever and stimulating. Plus it keeps me looking good and healthy.
Listen to music – Wether it be lit music or something calming; music is truly therapeutic. But if i’m feeling stressed I go in the calm direction. Depending on my mood the choices range from Gunna to Fr33sol.
Tap into Mother Nature – I love being in nature. Wether it be going to a garden to gaze at flowers, going to the beach to walk barefoot in the calming beach waves, or sitting on a blanket at the park taking in as much sun as possible. God created nature for us to marvel and enjoy. I take advantage every chance I get. Any time I travel, an outdoor expedition is included in one of the days.
Set an ambience in the house for the evening
Nothing like a hot shower while listening to some Summer Walker on random play, while stepping out of the shower with bath and body works candles all over the house going and a skin care routine. Little 420 session. *huffs* Baybeee. (I’m writing this right now body rolling in my seat as I type this @ 11:29pm on Sunday night)
Look for a silver lining in any situation
I’ve been faced with many challenges, even this year. No matter what, I always find a positive outlook and make peace with where I am in the process. I have a saying, if it’s in my control make the best outcome possible, the shit I don’t have control of, let it go. I find peace in knowing I have that option.
Cut off people and situations that irritate me
This one is deep. But i’ll keep it short. We will just say I can tell that i’m growing wiser, I don’t allow things that disturb my peace linger. Period. This goes across the board… relationships, friendships, family, employees. I just don’t do it.
Spend time with the people I love
For me, being with both of my children walking in a quiet park, or having a “girl whet” conversation with my toddler daughter is serene. I’m learning to not only cut off people, but balance it with embracing those who bring me love and peace.
Looking for peace? Here’s a starter pack
I have a firm belief that everyone is looking for some form of peace. I truly don’t have all the answers. However, I can give you a few steps that I took to get you going in the right direction.
- Understood that you deserved it
- Get a notebook and write down YOUR definition of peace. Really, what does it mean to you?
- Once this is established, take action immediately
- Eliminate negative people and conversations – this is a BIG one. Take your time
- Spend more time alone, after all this journey starts with self. From there you will find things that you actually enjoy.
- Once you figure out what you enjoy, do more of it
- Don’t expect anyone to understand. You’ll drive yourself crazy. It’s about YOU
Whats your definition of peace? Are you in your bag? What’s your story? Let’s talk about it.